I've been neglecting this blog for some months now. That's not totally been on accident either. You might think I've just been really busy and yes, we have, but on a day to day basis I definitely have some time to kill; it's more that I haven't had the motivation or real desire to sit down and put into words life as we know it today, mainly because it's been much harder than all the fun things I used to blog about, and the simple SLO life. Not to say its not fun, just different, and if you know me at all, you know I have a hard time coming to terms with change.
We moved. Duh, right? Well, incase you didn't know, in March Scott and I started a journey that would take us all across California, back to SLO and eventually up to the Bay. It was a tough decision we knew we'd face when it came time to leave San Luis, but one that came upon us faster than I think either of us could have expected or really wanted, due in part to my pregnancy. I gave my work a 2 day notice, rather than 2 week notice, (best job ever) and they still all hugged me and told me they'd miss me. We paid our rent for March and actually lived in SLO for 5 days that month. I was on the tail end of nausea and fatigue, and had high hopes of turning our journey into a video/photo documentary to remember all the driving and adventures, but moving turned out to be way harder and more of a daily battle within myself that, if I'm being honest, I just didn't want to remember, that my camera stayed zipped in the case nearly the whole time.
My wonderful in-laws took Scott and I in at the end of March while we looked for a house to call home. Scott took on the role of super husband and searched day and night for new listings in the area, while I fought pregnancy and tried to adapt to our new life. It was so odd to drive on a freeway with more than 2 lanes again, to see chain restaurants and shopping malls filled with name brand stores. I missed shopping at Therapy, eating at The Natural Cafe, and theaters so old they didn't have stadium seating...(or did I just miss DT Cinema's, because it really IS so much nicer not having to worry about someone tall sitting in front of you at those stadium seating theaters). Anyhow, case in point is my hubby found us a wonderful home, full of character, in a great neighborhood, close to a cozy downtown within a few weeks of moving. He spent endless hours on the phone with realtors, bankers, and storage units, and even found time to start a new job amidst all of this. Meanwhile, I tried to get back to feeling normal, something I hadn't experienced since December.
In mid-April we were able to move into our new place. Three or four trips from the storage unit to the house later, we had filled the garage with boxes to unpack and furniture to assemble. My ever-so-helpful Mom flew up to help me organize and arrange the boxes that were ready to be unpacked and that weekend my Dad joined us for a garage clean up day. It felt really good to be organized and able to cook and function in our house, even though we still had big plans for the work to be done.
I took on a new role living in Northern California, and one that I am very grateful for and thankful to my hubby who works so hard for our family. I became a stay at home mom. I've always known that this was a role I wanted to pursue because I had such a wonderful example set before me in my own Mom. She is and always has been there for my siblings and I, that I look forward to building that relationship with my own children someday. The only downside to this new role was that I was still months away from having my baby boy, and with Scott at work, left me with a lot of free time in a new place where I knew no one. I don't have many people to blame but myself for my lack of new friends, and it's something I am still learning to deal with. I'm generally a very social, outgoing person, but when it comes to making new friends, I tend to not really want to do the work or make the effort. Not a good character trait when you move to a new place and honestly need to make friends. I had days where I was convinced I could stay in bed all day and no one would notice. It was a tough transition after working 40 hour weeks at a restaurant I came to know and love not only the employees, but the regulars who came in for lunch several times a week. I felt purposeless and lost.
How I wish I could say the all the right Christian-ese verbage and share with you about how much I learned about depending on God and that my faith carried me through this struggle. I'd be lying. I was so frustrated and angry at myself and how I'd ever ended up in such a funk that I truly neglected my relationship with God. Finding a church wasn't high enough on our priority list that on Sunday's we stayed home to work on our house instead of finding people to invest in and who would invest in us. It was no wonder I felt so lost, I was. I know God brought us here with great purpose and reason, and it's tough to swallow that sometimes because I miss my family and San Diego and SLO so much. I am eager to look back at this time and see God's vision for our lives in Pleasanton, as we slowly adjust and begin raising our son.
Does this all make me sound so miserable??? Well, I'm not, don't get me wrong, I just wanted to catch up on life and rather than show pictures of only the highlights (which there were lots of...posts to come) I wanted to remember the tough stuff as well. Life has been hard, really hard at times, but I am also incredibly blessed and so fortunate for the gifts God has blessed us with this past season. I have an amazing husband, a baby boy on the way, a cute little home, wonderful in-laws who live close enough to have us over to share a meal with or watch our favorite TV shows together, 2 nephews in town who will be great older cousins to Wyatt; parents, siblings and a Grammy of my own who I've been able to see more recently than when I lived closer to home, friends in far away towns who call to keep in touch, and the list goes on. It's a different life up here in Nor Cal, one I don't know that I would have chosen for myself, but one that God has chosen for Scott and I right now, and once I learn to fully accept that and thank God for this time, I know it will be an even fuller life. I have come to appreciate tall trees and though I miss the ocean, I know its there, just a few hours away.
This, is life as we know it.